I’m home in Halifax after spending ten days in BC with Bali Boy, and it is hard to know where to start with writing this post. I guess I’ll summarize first, by saying that we had an absolutely wonderful time together but we didn’t fall in love. In that sense, everything went to plan.
The last ten days were a whirlwind. I had all these crazy travel assignments to do, so we were staying at beautiful high end hotels and getting treated like kings, while being romantic and having a fine old time. It wasn’t real. It was a perfect combination of situation and emotion that at times felt like there could potentially be something beyond friendship or a fling , but it simply never developed. However, because we are human, ie flawed, insecure, over-analytical and emotional. (Or to quote Aerosmith F.I.N.E. as in F***ed up, insecure, neurotic and emotional) there were moments in the blissful ten days when things got awkward. Like when he got smashed, told me he loved me and proposed.
We’d gone to spend an evening at the mutual friend’s place, which was really fun, except we started drinking gin (which usually makes me feel violent but that night made me just giggly and silly). At the start of the night we were barely touching, playing it cool and all that, but as the night progressed everyone got a bit rowdy and Bali Boy kept referring to me as his girlfriend. I was drunk and happy, so didn’t correct him. After we went back to his place, he became a poet, telling me all about his love for me. I told him to go to sleep. Two hours and many proclamations of his true love later, he finally did go to sleep.
The next morning I left before he woke up (because I had to go to Whistler with a girlfriend on another assignment, not because I was running away or anything!) and later texted him to tell him what he’d said last night. He was mortified, couldn’t remember any of it. It was funny, and being me I couldn’t resist teasing him whenever I could about his proposal.
Anyway, that was right at the start of my visit. Once I got back from Whistler, Bali Boy and I headed off to Vancouver Island for a little working vacation. We spent two days in Tofino staying at the Long Beach Lodge, which has to be the most romantic place I’ve ever been. Our room had a balcony that overlooked the crashing surf, there was a fireplace and a huge bath-tub made for two.
It really was incredible. The first night we were there, we went for a long romantic walk on the beach and talked and talked. Bali Boy was great to travel with, perfect fun and very witty. We really did enjoy each other’s company. Then we spent a fantastic 24 hours in Victoria, before heading back to East Van to spend a last night together at his place.
Everything was going absolutely fine until that last morning, when Bali Boy said something stupid that really pissed me off. I kissed him, looked in his eyes and smiled, then he said to me: “Now don’t you go falling in love with me.” I think I just said something like “There’s no fear of that” and walked away, but I was just furious. What an incredibly egotistical thing to say. I seethed for a while, and thought I just had to say something more. He was dropping me off at a meeting (I scored a job when I was in BC, which means I’ll be traveling back a little more often) a couple of hours later and I brought it up, the whole not falling in love with him thing.
I told him point blank that there had been no love connection for me, and I was puzzled and slightly pissed that he thought I was there wishing for him to fall in love with me. I also said something mean, which I instantly regretted: “I’m hardly looking at you and thinking you have husband potential.” Then I told him why, because he was a 38 year old kid and I’m looking for a grown man. And I think it stung. Not because he wants to be my husband, but I think ultimately he wants to do the whole married with kids thing. I went to my meeting still feeling angry and then feeling like a complete bitch.
When I saw him later it was weird and I didn’t want it to be. We made friends I guess, and he was super complimentary and lovely, which made me feel even worse. I think we just had a little misunderstanding that I probably blew out of all proportion and we both misread shit and it almost soured what had been a pretty much perfect week together. As I left he said that he was really pleased I got that job so we’d see each other again soon, and I said maybe, but only if he promised not to make any douchebag comments. I think we will see eachother again, as friends, whatever, who knows, but I’m not in Vancouver again until September and really, who knows what could happen between now and then?