Posts Tagged ‘first date


Surely this sets some kind of record

Okay I have to make this quick because I’m heading right out. To the Pier, to have a drink with a guy I met once…approximately four years ago. At least I think I did. I don’t know how else his name and number would have gotten in my telephone; and he seems to have some memory of meeting me.

I know some people think Internet first dates are somewhat nervewracking because you’ve only seen the person in pictures, but let me tell you, this is much worse. I have *no idea* what the guy looks like. I do know where I met him (at an event), and I can only hope that if I gave him my phone number, it was out of interest. Sometimes I do it out of misguided politeness, or worse yet drunkenness. We shall see!!

In case you’re wondering how come I’m only going out with him now, after four years…well I blame my computer. It mysteriously died a year ago and swallowed up all my data. Distraught, I started calling every techie I could think of–including a grade school friend I hadn’t talked to in, um, 15 years. Only I got the numbers mixed up and ended up calling my once-and-future date instead. (It was an easy mistake to make: they have the same first name, I didn’t bother to list last names, and I’d never called either before.)

At first I was confused, then I was embarrassed, and then suddenly I was being asked out, sort of. “I’m moving to Hermosa soon–maybe we could meet up for a drink and figure out how we know each other,” he said.

“Sure, okay, whatever,” said I.

One year later, here we are. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this…but on the other hand, how could I not? Many times I’ve looked at my phonebook and wondered who all those random first-name-only contacts were. And now, I’m going to figure one of them out.

Must go get ready. The moment of truth draws nigh…


How Many First-Date Flowers Equals Creepy?

Love was in the air-conditioning at Whole Foods Redondo’s checkout aisle #3. As I waited to pay for my carrot sticks and crostini crackers (just got back from the Caribbean & Vegas, ate like a piglet, more on that later)… a dude walked up behind me with a bouquet of something sunshiney, inexpensive and long-stemmed. Daffodils, maybe? Miniature sunflowers? I dunno. Alls I really noticed is that, even before he’d paid for the flowers, he was busily shucking off the plastic wrapper and taking the bouquet apart.

I wasn’t the only one to notice…the checker was looking at him w/her eyebrow raised, like “Excuse me, weirdo? Why are you dismantling the foliage?”

He either noticed her or just felt a bit uncomfortable, because suddenly he burst out, “You guys in Whole Foods won’t let me buy just one flower!”

“One flower?” she said. Our minds were one at that moment, I do believe, and both of us were thinking, What kind of cheapskate are you?

Right before I could say, It’s for your own good, sir, he made a great recovery.

“I’m going on a first date, and I want to bring her flowers, but a whole bouquet is too much!”

“Awww!” said the checker-girl, who was about 19 and gangly and probably has been on about three dates in her life. “It’s not too much.”

“Yes it is,” I said.

Call me unromantic, but I get totally weirded out when someone brings flowers on a first date. I love them later down the line, but upon a first meeting, it muddies the waters. I remember when some sweet gentleman brought me a long-stemmed rose, which would have been sweetly romantic except I knew from the first minute that I wasn’t attracted to him. Still, I said ‘yes’ when he asked if he could see me again because he was just too damn nice to say ‘no’ to. Then I accidentally left the rose at the table after dinner, and not-so-accidentally never returned his phone calls. I still don’t know which I feel guiltier about.

 So anyway, needless to say, I fully understood why the guy at the Whole Foods checkout would be tearing his bouquet apart.

“One flower is good. No more than that,” I said knowingly.

“Save the rest, and you can bring them on your other first dates,” suggested the checkout girl, suddenly displaying some unexpected and seriously jaded wisdom.

“I mean,” she continued, as I started laughing my ass off, “maybe you have another first date planned for Sunday night, and another for Monday…”

“No, no, no!” said the guy, all shocked. “Hopefully this one will go so well that–”

“You should have gotten a multi-colored bouquet, and then you’d be covered whether you see her again or not,” I said.

“Look, why don’t you two just take the rest of the flowers?” said our poor overwhelmed romantic, as a small audience of bored Saturday evening Whole Foods patrons examined him curiously.

I demurred, since I’m leaving town again at 6AM on Monday. But maybe the checkout girl took ’em. I hope so. Would hate to have all that sunshiney yellow bloominess go to waste–but at the same time, I think our man was right: Maybe in the ’50s a first-date bouquet was mannerly, but these days, it’s just creepy.

August 2020

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