On the online dating road to nowhere

Last week I took a chance and smiled at a cute guy on lavalife.  He smiled back, and we had a few emails back and forth that looked really promising. He gave me his MSN name and I gave him mine, then twenty minutes later we were chatting. It was cool. We talked about music, agreed on bands, emailed each other links to our favourite music videos and had a great chat for almost an hour. By the end of this typed conversation we were talking about chatting some more and going out to get poutine sometime. I signed off, because I could sense that the chat was winding down, but left it thinking that he was an interesting guy that I wanted to find out more about.

Two days later I log on to Messenger again and he’s there. I initiate a chat and its going okay but he is obviously distracted (when this happens paranoid old me always imagines that they guy must be chatting with ten women at once) and there are long pauses before he answers my questions. The quality of conversations dwindles until I realize that this person is rather dull and this is going nowhere. I wasted an hour of my life chatting with this sucker!

Anyways, that was that little blip of ‘almost was’ in this weeks exciting dating schedule. I nearly crossed paths with the 26 year old from last weekend. I went out for dinner with a couple of friends, they were taking me somewhere new and as we pulled in to the parking lot I saw my weekend snogging partner in the window of the restaurant (he had told me he managed one, but I’d forgotten until that moment where it was). I just could not bear the thought of having to pretend I’d been busy or whatever other bullshit excuse I’d have to come up with so I stayed in the car and made my friends get us take-out. Besides, I had my toddler with me and she was coming down from the most epic melt-down of her life so far, so I was not in the mood for any further spending of emotion.

On a more positive note, I may have to go to NY for business, so emailed the Brooklyn Boy Toy to see if I could crash at his place. He said yes, but I already think I may be making a mistake by continuing this dalliance. We have had two flings, where he has flown out to be with me and we’ve had a wonderful time but then total weirdness afterward where I end up getting my feelings hurt. I need to think it over, work out if I really am over him enough to just spend two hot days in NYC then fly home and forget him again. He’s pretty damn gorgeous, so as long I can stop myself from falling too hard when I’m in his company , I would like to go to there again. There being the inside of his pants, where believe me, there is quite a party! But, I am a girl and making that disconnect from sex and love is tricky, especially as the boy pretty much told me he loved me once. But love became lust, the distance between us too far and it fizzled away.Maybe I should go, take a chance, at least have some of the fun I’m missing here in Halifax.

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