Requiem for a wingman

Another one has fallen.

It is my sad duty to report the loss of another wingman in the line of duty. Wingman # 2, or Wingy as he was affectionately known on these blogs, can now take his rightful place in the Wingman Hall of Fame alongside Wingman #1, aka Former Wingman. Many hear the call but few are chosen. These were men among men; Wingmen among Wingmen. They served with loyalty and bravery in the frontlines of the Vancouver singles scene, but ultimately could not face one more cocktail party at the Opus Hotel bar. I can’t say that I blame them.

But it’s dog-eat-dog and survival of the single-est out here in La-La-Land North, and this party boy is not giving up. Not that I have much of a choice if I’m going to keep this blog going. And so I am calling on all potential wing-folk in the Lower Mainland to send their CVs to me care of this blog. Yes, I’m also opening up the competition to women. It might be time to try something different.

The successful applicant will be well-groomed and have a good sense of humour, as he or she will be socializing with bon vivants, publicists, real estate agents and other society ilk as we journey from gallery opening to restaurant opening to indie-rock show to charity event. Be prepared to balance a plate of appetizers in one hand and a glass of wine in the other while maintaining a conversation about what other parties you’ve been to recently. Loyalty, and being available to maintain a tireless stream of jabber at at least three events per week is a must.

Benefits include invitations to many of Vancouver’s most happening events, swag, and the chance to catch a sighting of various local news anchors. As well, you are likely to meet the mate of your dreams while I stand on the sidelines, cheering you on and reaching for another glass of champagne.

On the downside, you may occasionally be called into action when you don’t really feel like coming out. Some of the people you will meet are journalists. I might start talking about comic books or my favourite bands.

In the coming weeks I’ll be posting the results of my search. I will be digging into the recesses of my virtual address book and trying various applicants out at events such as a Holt Renfrew party, a performance by New York rockers Northern State, and a tasting of New Zealand wines. So stay tuned.

In the famous last words of Wingy: “Go on without me, man. It’s your only chance. Oh, and do you need Anne Murray tickets?”  

God be with you, my friend.

(Note: all photos from the Third Annual Vancouver Burlesque Festival after-party Saturday, May 3. This is the type of thing YOU could be attending!)

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